Can we talk about eyebrows for a minute? I have the bushiest eyebrows of anyone I know. When I was little my great grandmother made me promise her never to pluck them or god forbid remove them altogether and draw them on. Well, being only about 4 when I was confronted with this apparently very serious issue, I promised. I have been plagued by crazy, out of control eyebrows ever since.
In my quest to find new and exciting ways to control the hair growing out of my forehead I stumbled upon a hair trimmer one day that had an eyebrow attachment. Could it be? Could there really be something that would just neatly trim and maintain these Neanderthal growths? Wow. It was an amazing appliance, right up until the day it failed to work as planned.
I was running late for work, and as usual, I looked in the mirror and cursed my 4 year old self for making a ridiculous promise to always look like the bearded lady, only upside down. Yes, I do mean a beard on one’s forehead. I fired up the trimmer, clipped on the eyebrow attachment and went to work. Zipped right through the left one and went to work on the right. Before I knew it, I had shaved half of my eyebrow off. I just stood there for a minute contemplating what had just taken place. I looked at the trimmer (yep, little comb clearly broken), looked at my eyebrow and then at the pile of hair in the sink. I picked up the hair and actually held it up to what used to be an eyebrow. I think I was hoping it would just jump back into place. This period of contemplation was followed by several minutes of swearing, crying, screaming and running through the house like a wild idiot. When I finally calmed down, to a mild hysteria, I formulated my plan. I colored in the missing half of my brow with an eyebrow pencil and then pulled my bangs down on that side. Yeah, that totally did the trick. Nobody will even know! Uh huh, go ahead and keep telling yourself that Laura. The first person I saw when I got to work definitely noticed and his exact words were “Hey Laura, OOOOOHHHHH my gosh. What happened? Did you get in a fight with Chuck’s beard trimmer?” And he was belly laughing. Great. Now not only did I have only half an eyebrow but the illusion that I would actually live through this had been shattered.
It took about a month before I finally had eyebrow hair on that side again.